Coming Out Of The Closet
by Bad Alice
Summary: Jasper Hale has a secret...a hidden deep, dark secret...it's time his closet was opened, and his skeletons came out. Oneshot, rated T to be safe...


**Okay, I am **_**so **_**sorry. But I couldn't resist. Halfway through, you may want to stop reading, but I'm asking you to just read until the end. You'll see why when you do.**

**I don't own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or anything by Stephenie Meyer. I do, however, own a wicked pair of shoes, and a trenchcoat. Go Bad Alice!!!**

"Well, it's not that I don't like shopping, Rose. It's just…" Rosalie covered Emmett's mouth to prevent any more excuses. He rolled his eyes.

"You're coming. We're all going…do you hear me, Emmett McCarty Cullen?" She growled. Emmett sighed and stomped off to the car. I watched with amusement, standing beside the rest of the Cullen family…minus the parents.

"I wonder who wears the pants in the bedroom…" Edward laughed, grinning at Jasper. I felt a tinge of shock at hearing Edward mention something like that so casually.

"Shush…" I frowned, making them both laugh. Alice and I exchanged an exasperated glance at their immaturity.

"I heard that, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Just because you can't find out…"' Emmett called from the car. My chin dropped and a small growl rumbled in Edward's chest.

"I'll remember that, Emmett." I said, pouting as I got in the car and folding my arms across my chest sulkily. Emmett shrugged nonchalantly.

"You never know, Emmett." Edward said, sliding in next to me and kissing my cheek. I smiled, feeling the rush of heat across my cheekbone.

"Oh, please. You would have told me." Emmett said, making a face, and raising his eyebrows. Edward rolled his eyes. I spoke up.

"Unlike you, Edward, can keep a secret." I glared at Emmett, reminding him of what he had told Edward on his birthday…the _one _time I had him fooled. For a while, anyway.

"I under intimidation. He tortured me into it." Emmett shrugged, not meeting my gaze. I laughed humorlessly.

"And you couldn't make a up a fake birthday present, when you've had years to perfect lying. That's pathetic!" I scoffed. Edward smiled, putting his arm over my shoulder and pulling me close.

"Stop bitching. We're here." Rosalie sighed, obviously bored of our arguing. I smiled, getting out of the car.

"Boys first. They don't take as long." Alice smiled as she got out of the car, her pixie-like face glowing as she stared at Jasper.

"I am not going shopping." Emmett and Edward said together.

"Ha. Yes you are, especially if I have to. Revenge time." I grabbed Edwards' hand pulling him along behind me.

"This is cruel and unusual punishment, babe." Edward sighed. He'd taken to calling me that, for some bizarre reason. At first it was odd, but I got used to it. I liked having a pet name.

"And you will endure it." I smiled. Edward groaned, dropping his perfect head on my shoulder, burying his face there.

"Please?" I could almost see him pout. I smiled, despite myself.

"No."

"Pretty please?" He removed his head from my shoulder, looking at me, his eyes wide and pleading. Puppy dog eyes. God help me.

"No." I sighed.

"Pretty, pretty please, with a cherry on top?" That did it.

"For God's sake, Edward, _no!_" I snapped. He glared at me, stopping in the middle of the hall, and glaring. "Oh God, he's going to throw a tantrum." I added wryly. Edward glowered at me, his perfect face so petulant. "Fine then. I'll ask Emmett to help me change." I shrugged, walking off. Alice smiled at me over her shoulder, leading us into Victoria Secrets.

"No. Way." Edward grabbed my hand, at my side.

I smiled triumphantly. "Good boy."

Jasper patted Edward's shoulder sympathetically. "Man, if you just play along, it makes it easier. Trust me on that one."

"How did you marry Alice?" Edward mused. Jasper shrugged, not daring to answer while Alice was in earshot.

"Oh, look Bella!" Alice held up a Capri nurse outfit. I burst out laughing, blushing, while Edward glared.

"We could get the boys these." Rosalie grinned, holding up police uniforms. "Come on, Emmett, arrest me."

"Nah, I like army guys." I commented. Edward nudged me gently in the back, and I shrugged at him, smiling.

"Come on, then." Alice sighed, going to another shop. In the end, we went around five shops. Edward and Emmett groaned the entire way. Jasper didn't seem to mind; poor guy was probably used to it.

"Here, Emmett, try this one on." Rosalie said, handing him a pair of jeans. Emmett groaned, swearing as he walked into the change rooms.

"Make me try _anything _on, and I swear, Isabella Marie Swan, I will never speak to you…ever again." Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear. I smiled, turning to him.

"Fine. Rain on my parade, then. Spoilsport." I sighed. Edward smirked, kissing me softly. I swear I felt my heart stop before he pulled away. Alice's shout caught our attention.

"I am so trying this one!" Alice darted in beside Emmett, a flash of black hair on what appeared to be a small little pixie.

"What do you think?" I showed Edward the black top I had found. He shrugged, and I rolled my eyes, deciding to wait for Alice to get her opinion instead.

"Tada!" Alice and Emmett came out together.

"Whoa…" Jasper breathed. I grinned. That top did look amazing on Alice.

"Eww…put a shirt on!" I feigned a cringe, looking at Emmett. He glared at me, and I poked a tongue out childishly at him.

"Jasper? What do you think?" Alice asked. I turned to him. Didn't he see?

"Mmmmmm…" Jasper hummed. Edward and I exchanged a confused glance, shrugging. I glanced at Alice, who was still waiting for his answer. "Alice?"

"Yeah?" She raised her eyebrows, still waiting.

"I think…I think I'm gay." His face was serious.

"What?" Alice demanded, smiling. Edward and Emmett burst out laughing, both doubled over in hysteric fits.

"Nice, man. Way to get out of shopping." Emmett held his hand up for a high-five, but Jasper didn't return it. His face was still deadly serious.

"Jasper? You serious?" I asked. He nodded. Edward and Emmett burst out laughing again, fresh fits starting them up all over again.

"Aw…" Rosalie and I cooed.

"Uh…" Alice was speechless, for the first time in her long life.

"I love you Alice, really, you know I do, but…" Jasper trailed off. Alice forced a smile.

"Don't worry. I know. It's okay. I'm happy for you…I guess." Alice smiled, hugging him. Jasper smiled.

"When did this…happen?" Edward laughed. I hit him, regretting it instantly when my hand started aching.

"When…well…I think…I think I'm in love." Jasper sighed.

"Aw…" Alice, Rosalie, and I chimed again. "With who?"

"Emmett." Jasper smiled at said male vampire.

"Say what?" Emmett asked, his chin dropping. Edward promptly cracked up agin.

"You're dumping me for _Emmett_?" Alice almost screamed. Jasper forced a shrug, and Alice paled, her eyes wide. "For _Emmett_?"

"Edward…hold me…" I laughed, almost falling over with laughter. Edward smiled, hugging me, supporting me even as he laughed.

"This is…different." Rosalie commented. I giggled, burying my face in Edward's chest.

"Not funny, Isabella Marie." Emmett said, hitting my bum, causing Edward to growl. I laughed, apologizing, but cracking up laughing as I did so.

"Since when?" Alice demanded.

"Today." Jasper replied nonchalantly, leaning on a wall.

"Why?" She asked, looking as though she were about to cry.

"Alice…I don't know. I just don't…feel like that towards you anymore. Or to any females, actually." He sighed. Alice nearly screamed. Then _Emmett _nearly screamed.

"Well, Emmett, how long have you two been playing tummy sticks?" Rosalie asked. Edward and I both cracked up. After a second, I covered his mouth, and he covered mine. But we were laughing silently.

"Can we just go home and talk about this? You know, before you decide to convert your sexuality?" Alice asked. Jasper sighed, scratching the back of his head.

"Cool, Jazz, you can help me pick out my wedding dress." I smirked, looking on the positive side of it. Edward tensed.

"Say what?" Edward looked at me.

"That was out loud?" I asked. Everyone nodded. "Uh…oops?"

"Bella?" Edward said, turning me in his arms. I smiled. "Really?" I nodded. Edward grinned, kissing me.

"Great. When I'm getting a divorce, you're getting married." Alice pouted.

"Edward? Emmett? Can we talk for a second?" Jasper asked. Edward hesitated, glancing at me, and then at Alice. Emmett was still standing, frozen…shellshock.

"For Christ's sake, go talk to your brother." I sit him, regretting it again. Edward frowned, and walked out with Jasper and Emmett.

"Oh, Alice…are you okay?" I sighed, hugging her.

"Did he ever love me?" She whispered. Rosalie joined in on the group hug, the both of us almost crushing Alice.

"Yes, sweetie…of course he does. Jasper's madly in love with you. He's just not sexually attracted to you." Rosalie and I smiled. Alice sighed, nodding. "Give him a chance, Alice. He's been with you for so long…he still cares. Don't forget him now. He loves you." Alice nodded, hugging Jasper when he came back in. Edward and Emmett were grinning.

"Listen…we'll see you at home. You two need to talk. And Edward's got to get something. Rose and I will stay here for a while." Emmett said. I looked at Edward as he nodded, raising an eyebrow. He smiled at me.

"Yeah…okay…" Alice sighed. Jasper smiled at her gently as they walked out. Edward and Emmett watched the car go, then turned to us, grinning so hard we thought their faces would break.

"April fools." Rosalie and I hit them.

"That's not fair to her. She's heartbroken." I said reproachfully. Edward laughed.

"Come on, Bella. She'll be okay. She told Jasper earlier today she had a vision of them talking. He knows what to say, she'll figure it out, and everything will be fine. But that's in about an hour. Oh, I got you something." I sighed as he took my hand, and slipped a ring on my engagement finger.

"I'm not even going to look at it. I said no rings." Edward kissed me gently as I finished talking.

"You'll love it. Promise." He kissed me again. I sighed when he broke away and looked down at the huge rock on my finger.

"Edward…" I breathed, feeling faint. Edward grinned, and I fell backwards. Emmett caught me, pushing me back onto my feet where Edward held me up.

"Nice rock." Rosalie smiled. "I approve entirely."

"And that's only the engagement ring." Emmett whistled. I sighed.

"It's huge." I added. Edward shrugged, pulling me into his arms. I looked at the rng. It was a large diamond, about a centimeter in diameter. A heart shape surrounded it, filled with smaller diamonds. Edward smiled, watching me. "Oh crap, I'm going to lose it." I pouted.

"No, you wont." His lips met mine. I smiled into the kiss as he deepened it.

"Uh, Edward?" I broke away, and he stared at me. "April fools." His face blanched.

"Please tell me that was the joke." His eyes were wide, and I took pity on him.

"Yeah…I'm not that mean." I kissed him. Edward sighed, smiling.

When we got home, Alice's scream could be heard from outside. We exchanged a glance, running inside. We heard footsteps running up and down the hall.

"Jasper!" He ran down the stairs, darting behind me as Alice's shriek echoed around the house.

"Bella, help!" He hid behind me.

"Don't hurt him, Alice." I said, holding up my hands.

"I'm getting a divorce!" She screamed. I smiled. Esme and Carlisle laughed. "Did you know?" The question was directed towards me.

"No. He told us when we left you." Edward answered for me. Alice sighed, nodding, and I smiled. "Alice…are you okay?"

"I guess…it was funny." She sighed.

"Alice? Do you still love me?" Jasper asked.

"Yes." Her answer was murmured.

"Am I forgiven?" Jasper asked. Alice thought about it for a moment.

"Let's go shopping." Jasper smiled as she took his hand, dragging him outside.

Everything was back to normal.

**I couldn't really do that to poor Alice! See? I'm not all bad! Well, I sort of am. I am Bad Alice after all. But yeah, read and review, as per usual. Please?**

**Bad Alice**

_**Just A Little Bit Dramatic: I doubt anybody actually reads these, but you know, I put them in for Alice to see more than anyone. Just to say a few things. Bad Alice is wicked, put her on your alerts, she'll be a big name soon! She's the Alice in my life.**_


End file.
